One Run, One Day, 50 Miles: Wiped out....

The weekend is half over and I am already wiped. I am naturally more of an introvert, and while I don't eschew the company of others, I require time and space to retreat internally and regroup. I have to say that I have not really gotten that this summer; my only real alone time has been my race weekends, which of course, aren't truly restful (although they certainly can be internal!). I even had the sitter do a longer-than-normal stint yesterday just so I could get in my workout and see a movie, but as I finally settle into my role as a single mom (which role I have had since the Bubbaloo was 9-months old, so just over a year now), I am realizing that I need to be mindful of creating and maintaining balance in my life.

The running and exercise certainly helps, as well as providing consistency and has become part of our weekly household routine. I sometimes crave absolute solitude, though, and that is harder to come by. It's weird to literally pay for my free time and I also feel guilty for wanting it, even though I know that's absurd. I am looking forward to school starting this coming week, as I will gain almost four hours each morning. I will receive my first true respite (alas, not a vacation!) in a few weeks, though; I asked K. if he would take them for the week following Labor Day, which is a visitation weekend for him. He agreed. It will be the longest separation I have had from the munchkins since either of them was born, (but they'll be local, so if there's an issue, they can always come see me).

What will I do with a week of free time? Get my newest VA rebuttal together, clean the house fully, including those niggling things that never get done like a thorough purge of the fridge and freezer, sand and repaint the porch chairs (four months later), sleep, study for LSAT round two, and hopefully, have a good post-race recovery training week. Oh, yeah, and clear out too-small clothing from the munchkins and finally have a yard sale to clear out the piles of no longer used (or wanted) items. Whew! I also want to finally get through some books that have been on my nightstand for way too long.

All that being said, I hope that as I keep pressing, regardless of the outcome of my law school applications, I remember that I require moments of quiet and solitude and that I allow myself the latitude to create it (even if it means a financial outlay). It's all part of the larger picture, and I can't ever forget that.

It's gorgeous out and we are getting ready to go enjoy it! (A few pics from yet another non-running workout yesterday; planning to be back on the roads tomorrow.....)